Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Should Nots

Ever since I first dated my husband I have gotten much grief and aggregation from his family, especially his mom. My MIL has mental problems to begin with. She also is from a European county and has a thick accent. I can hardly understand a word she says. She can speak English but I'm at a loss at what she is saying half the time. So I can't really speak to her without half the time saying, "Can you please say that again?" Anyway here are the list of "Should Nots" I have gotten from his Mother and family over the years;

1. You should not wear that skirt. (You are not a lady!)
2. You should not wear Jeans. (Same thing)
3. You should not date him anymore.
4. You should not live together VS. Married.
5. You should not marry him. (oh please!)
6. You should not have any children. (ASD in family)
7. You should not give up your career (to raise the children).
8. You should not read the book but see the movie. (SIL problem!)

I'm happy to be married for 15 years and have two healthy girls. They do have Autism with learning problems. But I'm willing to love them and take care of them. God willing I will get thought this. The solution for me is not to attend family gatherings on his side. I know they don't like it, but he and the kids can still attend. I can't share anything with them, like reading a book first before going to see a Movie. I got the "You Should go see the movie, YOU don't have to read the BOOK!" I am not going to be attacked from them anymore. You want me around you be nice and say nice things and don't do the "Should NOTS" to me anymore. (Isn't that being Chastised enough?)

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